- (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
- Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
- Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
- Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
- Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
- (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
girls are attracted to assholes because in elementary school girls were told “if he’s mean to you that means he likes you”
the da vinci code has been cracked
fun fact: me in the white shorts
fun fact: me in the gray shorts kissing the cutest boy in the world
your bra strap is showing please hide it because it is suggestive. also your boobs are producing lumps in your shirt please hide them. your butt is in the same situation please get rid of it. also your legs. your arms. your face.
I can see your feet and it’s very distracting and slightly arousing.
I think the real question is why should a girl shave, preen and diet herself into oblivion for a guy in sweatpants and a t shirt who hasn’t trimmed his pubes in 3 years